It's not me, it's you.

I've noticed, recently, that many people are complaining on Facebook. A little too much for my liking, quite frankly.

Examples:

-"Why won't he love me the way I love him?"
-"If he only knew how I feel..."
-"11:11, I wished for you!"

Such atrocities are filling up my precious news feed, and I do not like it. At all. So I am going to give it to you Fox News straight.

See...The truth is...

You look like a Gorilla.

I'm sorry. You really just look like a gorilla. I used to laugh, for about half-an-hour, when I thought about it. Now I laugh for a good forty-five minutes. The smushed-in face, the gigantic arms, the powerful fists - were you in Tarzan?